Auburn has already driven me to drink...might as well make the most of it

drinking games are stupid and for college kids but sometimes a game (or season) calls for some heavy drinkin'...that being said i am unleashing the Auburn Spread Eagle Drinking Game for tonight's contest with West Virginia.

if Auburn comes out in the shotgun and the attempts to run the ball out of the shotgun on the first play for a gain of less than two yards...take a drink.

if Auburn stays in the shotgun on 2nd and 3rd down and picks up zero first downs and punts the ball then go ahead and finish off your first beer.

if Auburn's punter shanks the ball and West Virginia gets excellent field position for their first drive then go ahead and down another beer. you are in for a long night.

if Auburn comes out in their 2nd possession and remains in the shotgun and this results in another 3 and out then go ahead and open up the hard stuff and take a shot.

every three and out from here on out results in a shot...but be very very careful as this may result in your death.

if Kodi Burns overthrows a wide open receiver downfield that would have been a guaranteed touchdown...take a shot.

if Auburn's defense scores a touchdown before the offense manages to get a first down then take another drink.

if Auburn somehow can move the ball down and field and then Kodi Burns throws a drive killing interception go ahead and drink a beer...hell drink two.

if Ben Tate or Brad Lester or Mario Fannin are hit for a loss following a bad pitch from Burns on an option play kick your couch as hard as you can and then down three quick shots for the pain.

if any QB should come into the game at any point who is not Kodi Burns (or Mario Fannin taking a direct snap) then go ahead just drink heavily because playing this silly game isn't gonna change the fact that Auburn totally sucks at football and you are witnessing the end of everything.

if you need to puke at this point it has nothing to do with the booze. it's the offense.

if Auburn gets the ball on 1st and goal and runs 3 straight plays out of the shotgun for zero yards that results in a field goal attempt then take a shot...at my  head.

if Auburn's offense is held under 100 yards passing for the game then drink yourself into a Keith Moon or John Bonham like state that results in a merciful death...or better yet start rooting heavily for your favorite NFL team and pretend this silly little thing called college football doesn't even exist.

i'd come up with more but it makes me too sad to think about all the ways this offense enjoys to fail. i'll let you creative minded types come up with your own.