Obviously, this isn't how I pictured the coaching search. The day Tommy Tuberville and Auburn parted ways, I was sad, but hopeful. "Coaching searches are fun," I thought. "I can't wait to see what kind of awesome coach we get. The sky is the limit!" Boy, was I wrong. I was wrong in thinking that any of the past week and a half would be "fun." I was wrong in thinking that the people in charge of our university and athletic department could even recite the alphabet, let alone hire a great coach. It got me thinking that this whole thing is like a parable...

A mother and father sit their son down for a talk a month before Christmas. "Little Johnny, we're sorry your Playstation stopped working, but for Christmas, we're going to make sure you get a new and better one," his mother said. "Your father got a huge bonus this year, so money will be no object!"

So Johnny, saddened by the loss of his trusty Playstation, went to his room and started dreaming of what might be next. Could it be an XBox 360? A PS3? Maybe even a Nintendo Wii! He could hardly contain himself when thinking of the fun he would have in the future with a new and improved video game system.

Each day of the month seemed to move by slower than the one before it. Some of his friends at school had started hearing rumors from their parents. "My mommy told me that your mommy told her that you'll be getting an XBox 360," little Janie said. Johnny nearly peed his pants with excitement. "My daddy said your daddy told him you'll be getting a Wii," little Brian said. Johnny decided this would be the best Christmas ever.

As Christmas arrived, Johnny knew something great was going to happen for him. Besides, he'd always been a good boy, and his "big brother" always seemed to get whatever he wanted and more, regardless of whether he cheated in math class or not.

On Christmas morning, Johnny, after getting maybe 20 minutes of sleep, raced downstairs to the Christmas tree, and there he saw it. A big box, wrapped in the most beautiful wrapping paper he could imagine. His parents knew that's what he had his eyes on, and they were beaming with excitement. He looked at them to make sure it was okay to unwrap that one right away. Once they gave him the go ahead, he sprinted to the tree and started tearing away paper. Once all the paper was torn away, he saw his prized gift...

An ant farm. Johnny's parents had gotten him an ant farm. Johnny's dad got out the video camera to tape what he thought would be a reaction of jubilation. Johnny turned around and shouted, "Is this a joke?!" His parents were puzzled.

"We thought you would love it," they pleaded.

"I would have loved this present two years ago, but when I saw how awful of a present this was for Ike down the street, I realized it was a crap present that I didn't want anything to do with," he retorted. "I can't believe you would get me an ant farm when I wanted a PS3!!"

"Now listen here, mister. You are going to take that ant farm and enjoy it whether you like it or not!" Johnny's dad angrily asserted.

And so, Johnny took his ant farm, and tried to imagine himself enjoying it, but he just couldn't. He knew he would become the laughing stock of his class, whereas before, with his Playstation, he knew he was usually one of the more popular kids. It was a dark day for Johnny.

Now that my stupid allegory is out of the way, I will say this. I am 100% behind Gene Chizik as our head coach, until he proves to me he is incapable of leading our football team. Even though his record is awful, it's not his fault that the bumbling administration at a major university in a BCS conference saw 5-19 and thought, "that's our guy!" We can be behind Coach Chizik and our football team and against our incompetent aministration. That's my suggestion to all Auburn fans:

Support our football team and our football coach, and curse our AD, BOT, and President all you want. They have no idea what they're doing.