Ladies and gentlemen,

Throughout this search for Auburn's new head coach, which is on day 6 (feels like about day 600), names have been thrown around, no matter how feasible. What should we look for in our next coach? Head coaching experience? The ability to recruit? How good of a man the coach is? I think we're all overlooking the most important characteristic any Auburn head football coach needs to have.

I'm talking, of course, about the ability to nail a Golden Flake commercial.

This is one of the biggest problems with Tuberville's "resignation." Nobody could possibly replace those acting skills. I mean, just look at him:

At least we know Tubs has a bright future ahead of him winning Academy Awards. I heard he's already accepted a job as the new, mysterious man next door who claims to own an Applebee's, but you know he's selling smack in Guiding Light. Anyways, heaping praise on Tubby for his acting acumen was not the point of this post. It's hard not to do, but anyways, it's time to get on with the pos.

So which coach that's on our radar has the best acting chops to fill those giant shoes? Jimbo Fisher certainly has the name you'd expect to go along with a Golden Flake commercial. Will Muschamp could show some potential, but I'm afraid he's too raw. You need to be at least a little bit calm to take on a big job like Golden Flake commercials. How about Turner Gill? I'm not sure that crying over how good Maizetos taste would be the best route, but he certainly has potential. Mike Leach has already done the weather and offered dating advice, but those jobs pale in comparison to the Golden Flake behemoth.

Let's face it. When Auburn and Tommy Tuberville parted ways, we lost more than just a coach. We lost a thespian. Even if the next coach is better at coaching football, I can guarantee you that the acting level will drop off precipitously. Let's just hope that the next coach is half the actor that Tommy Tuberville was.