Top Ten Reasons Why Jeremy Elder Committed Armed Robbery

by Jay Coulter on Feb 22, 2008 6:24 AM CST in News Comment 13 comments

Could it have been the hat?

War Eagle Atlanta posted this in the diary section yesterday and without question it deserves front page status. It's hilarious. Enjoy...

From the Home Office in Marietta, GA, War Eagle Atlanta's Top Ten Reasons Why Jeremy Elder Committed Armed Robbery on Campus at Tuscaloosa:

Wanted to get more attention with all those blue chippers coming in.

The Houndstooth cap made him do it.

Just getting some extra workouts until spring drills start.

Too far to walk to do it off-campus.

$26 goes a long way at the student cafeteria.

The bitch set him up!

Wanted to move from strong safety to strong-armer.

Wanted to start preparing for a life after football.

Secret role model is Ryan Perrilloux.

And the number one reason:

Lab practical for Criminology class...

0 recs | Comment 13 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

Fanhouse

Thanks for the display, Jay. I swear, and this is no exaggeration, I tried 15 times yesterday to post this as a comment on the Bama fanhouse. It never sent me the confirmation email. Maybe it has me flagged so I can't post on the Bama page.

I need to start taking my time with these lists. I'm in such a hurry to pound it out, but I think of others once I've already posted it.

Here's the real number one reason Elder committed armed robbery:

Shula robbed Alabama of four YEARS, so what's a little money going to hurt???

by War Eagle Atlanta on Feb 22, 2008 11:04 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

Excellent work!

.....I should forward that list to everyone on my Auburn group!

.....Fanhouse is funky. The bama blog comments look trimmed, for sure, lately. I think Pete Holiday and Co. getting into it with the MGo Michigan guy has spooked 'em. (Never mind that Brian Cook lit that powder-keg!) Those Bama folk had no idea just HOW MANY unemployed, riled up, out of work people there are with internet access in Detroit. This is a town where Burger King is listed in Fodor's as a better restaurant. You really don't want to get in a flame war with those people!

.....My vote for the best, most tasteless, classless, chortle-inducing Jeremy Elder post, is this one I saw yesterday:

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday....

....."Parole Tide!" Has a ring to it, doesn't it?

by Acid Reign on Feb 22, 2008 11:59 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

Fanhouse

It's always been difficult to get comments posted on fanhouse, but it was completely impossible yesterday. Maybe Holiday did cut the comments off. He just posted a new thread today, so maybe I'll try to post it on that thread. Of course, he might delete them since it doesn't really belong.

The only problem I have with Holiday is his posting of smear and hack columns about Auburn on the Auburn site. Sure, you can post threads critical of us, but the smear jobs are reprehensible, considering it's an Alabama guy doing it.

I thought "Losing to Cromm can get you Fired" was funny and well done. It just didn't belong on the Auburn site.

by War Eagle Atlanta on Feb 22, 2008 12:23 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Update

After 20 attempts, I figured out that the comments were disabled on the thread about Elder on the Bama fanhouse. So, I did the next best thing and posted them on the thread that Holiday did this morning.

Look, you have to be able to laugh at this. Bama fans and all fans should be mortified by an event like this. The only thing left is just to laugh it off.

by War Eagle Atlanta on Feb 22, 2008 12:44 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Oh, definitely.

.....Elder clearly has some screws loose upstairs, or either is the victim of a media trial/conviction/frame-job. Ruining your life on a $26 robbery is no joke! I seriously doubt Nick Saban deliberately recruited that mentality!

.....Yes, what else is there to do, but laugh? And maybe some Bama fans might be a little more humble about posting jokes on the UT and Auburn boards, when a kid gets in trouble. Nah. Won't happen.

by Acid Reign on Feb 22, 2008 1:55 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Further Update

A few hours after I posted the list on the new thread on the Bama Fanhouse, Pete Holiday deleted it and sent me an email simply stating:

"I don't want to derail this post into more discussion about elder."

I then replied, appealing to his sense of humor and fair play, and asked him open back up the comments on the Elder thread and post my list.

Appears that it didn't work.

by War Eagle Atlanta on Feb 22, 2008 3:56 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Yet one final update

After an extensive email exchange with Pete, I relayed my difficulties in getting my list posted--all twenty something times I tried. So I asked him directly to post it for me--and he did. Can't really criticize the guy after doing something like that.

http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2008/02/18/saban-made-him-do-it-bama-de-arrested/#comments

Pete didn't really think my list was funny, but posted it anyway. I think we owe him a golf clap and a little consideration. Mostly he just does what we ask Jay to do for us.

by War Eagle Atlanta on Feb 22, 2008 5:38 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

I'm impressed!

.....WEA, your argument re: what else can you do but laugh? must have swayed him! Good job! I thought Pete could be reasonable, but after all the chop-block/championship ring hack jobs this fall, I was beginning to wonder.

by Acid Reign on Feb 22, 2008 6:44 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Acid

It seems that he gets a lot of the 'business' from the, shall we say, less-educated of our Tiger brethren, so he's probably a little gunshy about engaging Auburn folk unless he knows them. Once we engaged in a little dialogue, it was ok.

I did make my point that although I thought the Losing to Croom video was really funny, it was a cheap shot for him to put it on the Auburn site. He countered that he only did the video, that he didn't write or sing the song, which I knew already. He further claimed that it was another fanhouse guy who posted it. I went and looked back at it and it did appear that the author of that thread was some other guy, but I could swear that at the time it was posted, the author of the thread was him. Do you remember?

He did vehemently deny editing or altering posts originating from Auburn folks, which I believe, but it is hard as hell getting comments to show up on there sometimes. He said that the comments were never turned off on the Elder thread, but I tried an additional 5 times today with no luck, finally resulting in me asking him to post it for me.

I only occasionally check in over there for that reason--commenting is extremely difficult.

by War Eagle Atlanta on Feb 22, 2008 8:09 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Can't remember, for sure.

.....Research does show John Radcliffe as the author of that Croomed post. But, he credits Holiday for the video, at the end of the post. Who knows? I was glad I was at the beach, that week. It was the second lowest point of the decade, topped only by the Iron Bowl debacle of 2001. Steeeeeenk!

.....A feed reader is essential equipment for those blogs/sites that don't post very often, like Auburn Fanhouse, or The Joe Cribbs Carwash. If you're a Firefox user, I highly recommend Sage. It's REALLY simple to use. Even an old fart like me, who was born during the Ike Administration, before color TV, can do it! Once you've added a site's feed, you just click the "check feeds" button at the top, whenever you start Firefox up. Any feed you've added is automatically checked, and if there is a new post, the name of the feed appears in bold. Saves a LOT of time, especially with those friend/family blogs who don't update often. You'll know when they do... Best part? Firefox and Sage are free.

by Acid Reign on Feb 22, 2008 8:48 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

hahaha. ANOTHER bama player arrested saturday!!

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/200...

glad to see all of Saban's new disciplinary measures are making a HUGE impact... after all, only 2 arrests in one week is considered excellent by Alabama football team's standards...

next we will hear them all screaming about being number one in the nation and give themselves a national championship on the subject of most players arrested in an off season...

by Bodagetta on Feb 23, 2008 9:17 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Now, now...

Don't take too much pleasure in that. As soon as you do, one of our guys gets arrested, or we have another Sociology scandal or some other little trifle thing that embarrases the school. It's only a matter of time.

I usually cringe when I hear about something like this happening to any school. Then I write a funny column if it merits it...

by War Eagle Atlanta on Feb 25, 2008 11:31 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Julio Jones testifies at murder trial

Last week Julio Jones was testifying in the capital murder case of Labarron McDonald. McDonald apparently shot the uncle of Jones' best friend Lugene Gibbs while the two of them looked on.

"[Defense attorney] Bruijn called Phipps [Gibbs' uncle] a "violent, gang-banging drug dealer" who "made enemies and beat up on people." Gibbs, also a Foley High athletic standout, and Jones both denied smoking or drinking the day of the killing, but Gibbs said his uncle was a drug dealer."

Uh huh :)

The full story can be found at http://www.gadsdentimes.com/article/...

Note the picture of Jones in a University of Oklahoma sweatshirt!

Ever wonder why God painted a beautiful sky blue and a breathtaking sunset orange?

by Tigerz on Feb 25, 2008 8:46 PM CST reply actions 0 recs