…..is that you just can’t beat the atmosphere! I see tailgaters down there that don’t even have tickets to the game. They watch on their flatscreen outside the camper. Tickets to EVERYTHING are out of the ceiling. $21 for my kids and me, to see Batman a few weekends ago, with no popcorn or drinks. Concert tickets are regularly over $50. I was dying to go see the Trans Siberian Orchestra on New Year’s Eve, but tickets were around $90 a piece. Auburn saved me, there, because the Peach Bowl conflicted with it.

……Another price-driving feature to Auburn games, is the price hikes at all of the gas stations on US 280, on gameday. My brother gives me a ticket, and I ride down with him and pay for gasoline and lunch. I’m thinking of getting him to ride in my car, this year. His car DRINKS gas. Sometimes I feel like getting out and pushing my car, but it does get 35 MPG on the highway. Most gas stations on the way to the game jack their price per gallon up about 50 cents. One notable exception is the Jet Pep in Childersburg, but who knows what that stuff is doing to your engine?

……One way we saved money last season was taking a picnic, and eating it on campus. Saved money, and no waiting at a packed restaurant with a harried staff on the verge of mutiny… On the other hand, we WAY overdid the liquor, and I was in danger of rolling down the stadium steps. It was an adventure making it to my seat! That, and then we watched the South Florida game. Then drove home at 2:00 AM with a hangover. I’m not sure I want to jinx the Tigers with a repeat performance…

……Silly me, I was remembering that alcohol was illegal on campus, and forgot that coolers full of Bud Lite are sitting out at every tailgate site. So, what I did was wash four 16 oz. Gatorade bottles out, to smuggle our stuff in. “Honest, Occifer Campus Security Dudes, it’s apple-flavored Gatorade!” We ate and drank on a banister in between the band and architecture buildings, looking out over Graves amphitheater, within sight of the stadium.

…..My brother just borrowed one bottle, and he had some sort of single malt scotch in it. I had stingers mixed in mine: 11 oz. of 80 proof Paul Masson Grand Amber brandy, 5 oz. of Bols white creme de menthe. All three bottles were poured up the night before, left in the freezer all night, and carried down in a cooler. They were still ice-cold when we started. I drank all 32 ounces of mine in about 2 hours, and had at least two shots of the scotch, which my little brother was having trouble finishing. If a “drink” is considered 1.5 ounces of 80 proof booze, I had the equivalent of about 20 drinks. Lit, smashed, s__t-faced, loud, raucous, I was it! I’m sure I had dragon-breath from hell! The ramp from the concourse up out into the stadium was an adventure. The steps down to our seats were like a thrill ride/challenge. I nearly fell several times.

……Had a respectable headache the next day, and my throat was so raw I could only whisper. Worse, though, was the memory that we had totally blown a game against fracking SOUTH FLORIDA! Evidently, since I could still remember that fiasco, I didn’t have enough to drink!

…..Ye olde pint of Bacardi fit perfectly down the front of the jeans. They weren’t finding that sucker unless they took me downtown! We don’t smuggle anything in, these days. My brother always gets searched at the gate. Usually, we load up on beer, hit every porto-let AND Parker Hall on the walk in, and drink $5 bottles of water during the game.

Checking to see if this really works, since I’m such a nut about indented paragraphs!

p(. Another test.