From the home office in Atlanta, Georgia, and just in from today's SEC meetings, where the commish publicly warned all the kids to stop the jabber-jawing, tonight's 10 Ten Things Mike Slive told Lane Kiffin in private:

10) "Listen, may I call you Kiffykins?"

9) "Do you shave your chest for those shirtless recruiting bits or is that Nair?"

8) "Al Davis called. He wants your self-respect back..."

7) "No, Saban is the short one and Spurrier is the visor..."

6) "I have no idea why Auburn hired Chizik either, but I rode in that recruiting limo down here and it is badazz..."

5) "I'm sorry, Fulmer WAS our double-secret enforcement guy, but you've only been here for 6 months..."

4) "Yea, Shane Matthews spoke his mind, but if you piss off Congressman Heath Shuler, you're f**k*d!

3) "What the hell? I think your name is tacked up at Florida Field more than Ben Hill Griffin's now..."

2) "So what's the deal with your hot wife?"

And the numero uno:

1) "One more outburst outta you, mister, and I'm sending a note home to your dad!"

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