Auburn vs. La Tech Review-Sarcasm required

AUBURN VS. LOUSIANA TECH

I wanted to comment on the game between Auburn and Louisiana Tech. In review, it must be said we got excited this weekend with the results. Yes it was victory and we did score points and it was Louisiana Tech. However, we have to keep things in perspective. It is kind of like being served spam all your life and then being served New York Strip steak.

1. Chris Todd – Lets be honest none of you wanted him to be the quarterback and none of you believed he would play that good. After last years dismal play and his shoulder giving out even I thought he would have transferred or gone onto the history books as “remember that guy” ala Daniel Cobb. But the player of the game was Dr. James Andrews the orthopedic surgeon that worked on Todds’ shoulder in the off season. The man is a miracle worker no doubt. I am pretty sure he is somewhere right now feeding the masses with loaves and fishes. If Chris Todd can lead us to a winning season it will be the feel good story of the season. A holiday weekend full of Hallmark Channel movies won’t be able to touch his story. Last year the kid was literally booed out of the stadium and his name was to be spoken less than infamous Voldemort. I over reacted when I said Chris Todd had a cannon, but again when you compare last year it was a different guy out there. But it’s only been one game so we will see if kids are wearing his jersey by game seven of the season.

2. Coaching - It was so nice to see the coaches being pumped up before and after the game. I just saw their contracts this week that may have been the cause for celebration. But if I am pissed or excited about a play I want my coach to feel that way too. I loved Chizik and some of the other coaches showing some emotion. It was scary at times because lets be honest Chizik looks like a wrestler off of the TBS channel on Saturday nights in the 1980’s. Still I like the change. Too many times in the past Auburn coaches were too passive. If I am cussing at the television screen I want my coach to be upset as well. I do not him staring off doing the golf clap as if he just watched Pavarotti’s opera. Also wasn’t it nice to see a coaching staff make adjustments at half time. We saw what was not working the first half and made adjustments. In years past, we were like those sea lions on the animal planet that keep getting back in the water even though they just saw their family eaten by a killer whale. It is refreshing to see Darwinism in full effect on the plains.

3. Defense – I was surprised at the defense. I thought Nick Fairley and Antonio Coleman both had great games on the defense line. This seems to be our strongest position, our linebackers not so much. If you follow Auburn you know that we have no depth there at all. Our second string consists of a walk-on pre-med student. That should scare you. I am sure the kid will do great on his MCAT but tackling Julio Jones is a little tougher, physically that is. But just the same I do not want Antonio Coleman taking my Middle Ages Poetry final. We have got to find someone who can stay healthy and help in pass coverage. Tubberville loved short linebackers, but I am not sold on a 5’10 linebacker. Maybe if we could catapult them into the back field I would change my mind but bigger is sometimes better.

4. Offense – The offense to me seemed like our strongest side of the ball. We completed passes, we had two running backs rush for over 100 yards a piece and we actually scored points. I know it seems rudimentary but after last season if the eagle lands correctly during pre-game we get excited. Ben Tate was as expected. He is a senior back that will help us wear down opposing defenses. Freshman Ontarrio McAlleb was more than impressive. He broke the freshman yardage mark in his first game. He is fast there is no doubt. But he weighs 170 pounds. That may be big for fifth grade dodge ball but this is the SEC and at some point the laws of physics will play out and he will take a pounding. Maybe Coach Chizik should share some of his Golden Flake chips with him to put some meat on his bones. Also we have to get the guy enrolled in the Bo Jackson speech class. Driving home the other night I needed subtitles or an interpreter to understand his post game interview. Well we have time to work on that.

Look Ahead: This week is Mississippi State. Last year as you know I rode on a bus multiple hours to watch the memorable 3-2 showdown. It was a weird feeling leaving the game last year as neither teams fans were cheering. An extremely drunk fan from Mississippi State asked me if I enjoyed the score. I had to think a minute as I could not decide. He told me drunkenly that he would rather beat his private parts with a hammer than win 3-2. At first I was perplexed but the more I thought about I began to see his point. Hopefully this year we can break the double digit mark and avoid all the hammer and private part talk. I think our offense and team mood is much better than last year. What does that mean, well nothing until it happens. However, with the game at home I like our chances. Hopefully the cow bells will be silent as we ease to victory.

Prediction: Auburn 24 Mississippi State 10