The Telling of the LSU Corn Dog Story

by Jay Coulter on Oct 21, 2010 7:38 PM CDT in Football

At least half a dozen times a year I get a request for the post that talks about LSU fans smelling like corndogs. They come from Auburn, Alabama, Tennessee, Arkansas and every other SEC school. It's amazing that after all these years, it's still so popular. I usually run it here on Track'em Tigers every few years, because I get numerous requests. This season is no exception.

After all these years, we still don't know the true identity of the author. An unknown Auburn person penned the very essence of the LSU Corn Dog six years ago. It was posted by a fan that goes by DeepBlue and appeared on the AuTigers.com web site.

Without further ado, I give you the story of LSU and their fans who smell like corndogs...

LSU fans smell just like corn dogs.

Yes, it is often said, but so, so true.

LSU fans do smell like corn dogs.

I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something

better said at internet distances. Even now, I am afraid.

I am afraid that they'll know I said it. I'll walk past an LSU fan

someday, and he'll see that look in my eye that gives it away.

That look that says, "gee, what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?"

The next thing you know, I'll have flat tires on my car.

If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU

fans how they smell - you know, like corn dogs.

LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue.

I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you

attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell

like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, "Wow, LSU sure does

have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game."

It's hard. I know. It's like when you're having sex and you try to

think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming.

It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or

whatever else. Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: "Gee, I

wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like

a corn dog?"; or "Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying

to make me think it is a real person?" or "What did that giant corn dog

just say?" or "Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly

like corn dogs smell?" or, of course, after a silencer:

"Madam, did you just let the corn dogs out?"

Heck, after what I've heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better

not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are

nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That's okay.

You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them.

They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But

don't be obvious about it. Somehow they know you're trying not to

breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They'll likely

punch you for that if they catch on to what you're doing.

If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it'll permeate your whole

body, and then you'll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But

don't say, "Dang, now I smell like a corn dog." They take offense to

that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff.

Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get

stitches or something. Just don't say it. If you do start smelling like

a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay?

I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your

kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around

town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and

sniff the air. No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in

their expression - indicating they smell corn dogs - might get a wrench

or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that's

dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as

you drive - on some other weekend

I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog

stuff. What puzzles me most is that I've never actually seen any of

these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there's no

mystery there - maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows?

Maybe there's a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there.

Maybe, there's a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume.

Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply -

kind of like fluoride. The politics there are probably weird.

The big political issue during the city election is whether they should

add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. Don't comment on it

though. It's not politically correct over there. It's like a

malnutrition issue or something. It's like the corn dogs are probably

added to the water to prevent starvation or something.

I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you're thinking: "Ahhhh. Here I am

in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I'll bet the people here smell just like

boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe' or some fancy Cajun food." But just

stop thinking that. That's just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.

In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn

dog odor. And don't try masking the odor with something stronger.

They'll curse at you. They'll say something like: "WTF, how dare you

smoke a cigar in my home," or "WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of

corn dogs?" and they'll cuss out your kids too: "WTF!!! Little Mister

fancy pants over here acts like he doesn't want to smell like corn dogs."

Cajuns are not like us. Don't you see that, yet? They are really

sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know

they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all.

I know, I know. We sniff the Bammers and the UGA Dawgs and the Ole

messes, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don't press

your luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don't refer to Death Valley as corn

dog valley either. I mean that's just wrong. Even if you've been

drinking, they'll beat you up and curse out your kids.

Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction -

even if you're laughing about something else. Like baseball or football,

or sex or whatever. If you can't control yourself and you must laugh

though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their

corn dog body odor from a distance or that you're choking on it or

something. They'll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus

building over just one snort.

So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each

other. You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams.

You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed

my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this

Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home.

Enough with this corn dog talk. Let's play ball...

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Comments

Funny

People are still talking about this on campus

by Jay Morris on Oct 21, 2010 7:02 PM CDT reply actions

MMMMMM.... Someone mentioned corndogs???

REFCON Alert level: 2

by Mikeno on Oct 21, 2010 7:16 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs

It's been more than a decade since I first heard it.

and i still don’t get it. I’m not offended, I’m just……confused.

Managing Editor/Chief Lackey-And The Valley Shook THE LSU Tigers Blog of the Week for 52,136 Weeks in a Row and Counting

by PodKATT on Oct 21, 2010 8:54 PM CDT reply actions

Probably because people can't tell what they smell like

Do you remember that spelling bee you won in the first grade? Rock? "R-O-K"?

by jd is legend on Oct 22, 2010 11:11 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

This is the very first time I have ever even heard of this ridiculous story! What I don’t get is: Why would anyone bother to read it twice much less 10 times??

I can certainly understand why the author is unknown … who in his right mind would want to claim to have written this nonsense?

I think maybe the basis for this “corny” story lies in the perception of Auburn fans that soap and water might be cornmeal. It has been my experience that most folks from Alabama emit a very characteristic odor not unlike that of raw onions. It is the very same odor that one would associate with BO (body odor). Admittedly it’s not corny, but pungent – Oh Yeah!!

by DumBass on Oct 23, 2010 7:18 PM CDT up reply actions

Bitter much?

by Jumpn_JackFlash on Oct 23, 2010 11:09 PM CDT up reply actions

come to think of it...

I had a patient once from Louisiana and she smelled JUST LIKE CORNDOGS!! I thought it was just her, but then when I went to the LSU game, …
by George…every one of the LSU fans smell like CORNDOGS!!
He’s right about hiding it though…
You don’t tell them they smell like CORNDOGS!!
PodKATT, “Wow, LSU sure does
have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game.” ;-)

by rn4au on Oct 21, 2010 10:11 PM CDT reply actions

The Best Line...

“Is this a real person or is it a giant corndog trying to make me think it is a real person?”
Hilarious!

by WarDamnCE on Oct 22, 2010 7:52 AM CDT reply actions

Funny, funny...

it never gets old!

War Eagle! Beat the ~~Corn Dogs~~ Bayou Bengals!

by Tiger on the mountain on Oct 22, 2010 8:30 AM CDT reply actions

Meh

I’m over the corndog thing. Wasn’t this stolen from Oklahoma back in the day?

by weagle251 on Oct 22, 2010 9:59 AM CDT up reply actions

As is clearly written in the post

An unknown Auburn person penned the very essence of the LSU Corn Dog six years ago. It was posted by a fan that goes by DeepBlue and appeared on the AuTigers.com web site.

Considering changing my name to RebelBlackBearsConception

by ColRebsLastBreath on Oct 22, 2010 12:50 PM CDT up reply actions

Uh, actually..

It was stolen from the actual author – who was an OU grad describing Nebraska fan. It was then changed around a bit to tailor LSU fan.

So, not only do the Barner’s pay their athletes, they also plagiarize. Shocking.. err, I mean par for the course.

by Big Pappie on Nov 10, 2010 5:20 PM CST up reply actions

Exactly

Welcome to the University of Auburn, where they cheat in football and plagiarize in academics.

by Big Pappie on Nov 10, 2010 5:22 PM CST up reply actions

Jay,

You know that’s just our Twotimus BCS Championitis flaring up again.

Silly Aubies getting the smell of Champions confused with corn dogs again. I guess it really does take one to know one…

"I know the quarterback has a strong arm, but...I mean the ball's not gonna outrun ME" --PP7

by LSU Jonno on Oct 22, 2010 9:45 AM CDT reply actions

Touche...

….Johnno! Y’all gonna be anywhere near the Amsterdam Cafe Saturday around noon?

by Acid Reign on Oct 22, 2010 9:46 AM CDT up reply actions

I fear

that if LSU does win, Jonno may be sleeping on the couch Saturday night.

#2 Cameron Newton for Heisman

by War Eagle Atlanta on Oct 22, 2010 10:16 AM CDT up reply actions

Good thing...

He’s not a WVU fan then.

Come and join me at http://trackemtigers.com

by KoolBell777 on Oct 22, 2010 12:17 PM CDT up reply actions

Yea, with them, win or lose

the couch is getting burned.

Hello, futon!

#2 Cameron Newton for Heisman

by War Eagle Atlanta on Oct 22, 2010 2:03 PM CDT up reply actions

I have the same fear...

"I know the quarterback has a strong arm, but...I mean the ball's not gonna outrun ME" --PP7

by LSU Jonno on Oct 22, 2010 12:29 PM CDT up reply actions

Originally,

The wifey and I were both going to be going to the game, although sitting with different crowds (her with her family, me with my LSU-fan-brother-in-law).

Unfortunately, my brother-in-law cancelled on me two days ago, so I won’t be going. I’ll let her know that you’ll be in town at the Amsterdam Cafe though. The same crew that you met at the spring game two years ago will be there. I don’t know what their plans are, but they may be looking for a tailgate… Nudge nudge.

"I know the quarterback has a strong arm, but...I mean the ball's not gonna outrun ME" --PP7

by LSU Jonno on Oct 22, 2010 12:29 PM CDT up reply actions

The Corn Dog Thing

Always wondered what the “Corn Dog” thing was all about and where it came from. Pretty funny stuff coming from you Ear Waggle types

j/k

by Geauxst22 on Oct 22, 2010 10:26 AM CDT reply actions

There is a reason mustard is yellow and some people drink grape soda goes with corn dogs ;)

"BYE BYE BO!"

by TheAuburnKnight on Oct 22, 2010 3:48 PM CDT reply actions

It would be even more funny if it were original, but it was stolen from an OU fan describing his trip Nebraska and there fans. Then it was changed around a bit to tailor it to LSU fan. Hmm, a Aubie plagiarizing? Why am I not surprised?

by Big Pappie on Nov 10, 2010 5:01 PM CST reply actions