The official Bammer Meltdown thread....

The world of college football is a bit funnier this week, as our little brother from the oversized trailer park known as Tuscaloosa lost this weekend.  That's right, the turds now have a loss, and were able to manage only a paltry 6 points at home against LSU.  That being said, LSU only managed 9, but it was 2 more than was required to win. 

That brings us to the hilarity that is the Bammer meltdown.  Quite frankly, this week isn't as bad as I've seen it before, as most of the really good stuff were on the postgame threads.  As usual, the Bammers are completely unable to accept that they got their butts kicked by a better team, blaming everything from their OC, to the officials, to a clear INT towards the end of the game, to everything under the sun other than them just getting beat.  When you look at the numbers, Bammer is better statistically than LSU, as they have been all year, (albeit their schedule wasn't near as difficult as LSU's), but they were unable to win.  With the exception of 3 blown coverages on dumpoff pass plays, Trent Richardson was largely shut down by LSU's defense. 

One thing I did notice was that despite dialing up quite a few blitzes, LSU was pretty much completely unable to get to AJ McCarron and put him on the ground until the very end of the game.  Bammer's line did some amazing pass blocking, but at the end of the day, it wasn't enough.  Bammer never even came close to a touchdown, and also missed 4 field goals, despite getting good field position several times.  LSU's special teams won the day, while Bammer's lack of a kicking game and lack of a talented, battle tested QB cost them the game.  

It is official, Nick Saban is the Mad Hatter's bitch.  Two losses in a row to the Hat, with this one costing Bammer a shot at the National Championship, barring a miracle.  This, of course, led to some really funny material eminating from RBR.  I'm sure there will be more on their 'official' meltdown thread, as I am too lazy to troll any sites other than that one, but this will, er, TIDE  us over until Tuesday. 

Be warned:  after the jump, there is lots of bad language, so if this kind of thing offends you, best to steer clear.  It's not as bad as when Texas loses, but there are references to Hitler, necrophilia, Finebaum, hair frosting, feminine hygeine products, corn dogs, and numerous uses of the 'F' word, which is technically the most expressive word in the English language, as the Bammers prove every week. 

Enjoy and War Eagle!

The following comments have been edited:

we're so F#*}ed if we need a 42 yard field goal to win the game

God I hope we punt.  Never thought I'd be saying that.

F#*} this man WTF

pull his F#*}ing scholarship.  our kicking game is total shut.

But he played LB in HS PAAAAAWWWWLLL!!!!  HE MAKES GREAT TACKLES!!

WHY JIM WHY

Why are you calling retarded plays inside their 30?!?!  WHY?????

I love our coaches, but this shit is just full of retard at this point

fire them all, fire the kickers. they are all fail and shit. 

Nice defense but Wing is about to skull F#*} us now.

I don't care if we give a scholarship to a clone of Hitler as long as he can kick

1 for 4 F#)*ing FG's?  The wind couldn't push Betty Davis's twat, much less that F#*} ing-ball-wide-whatever direction!!!!

Nice frosted hair, F#*) ing douche

F#*) that co#ks# king, frosted-haired son of a bitch!

anybody else tired of this coonass d*%} sucking by Verne and Gary?  Maybe I'm just a little sensitive.

Yet another Coaching highlight.  It's OK it's only Mother F#*}ing overtime.

F#*} YOU SO MUCH AJ G@* DAMIT

bye bye NC, BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE A KICKER A F#*} ING KICKER

Absolutely depressing.  F#*} YOU MCILWAIN.

F#*)ity F#*}, F#*}ing  F#*)  F#*}

is there a way that both Cade Foster and honey badger can get in a fight and both lose their scholly's?

I want McIlwain's resignation TOMORROW.  If you have no faith in the offense, THEN FIND A NEW EMPLOYER YOU F#*)ING LOSER.

Maybe Saban should start eating grass.

Our coaches stank shit tonight all the way up to and including Saban, it was disgraceful.  NO POWER runs to Richardson?  Are you F#*)ing SERIOUS?  WE don't deserve shit tonight after that game.

I'm proud of our players.  F#*) YOU McIlwain.  Go get kidnapped by Mexican drug lords, you giftwrapping shit-pusher.

We may have lost, but I'll take pride in not being a team of marine jumping, cheap shotting, grass eating sacks of corndog shit.

kick rocks homeboy F#*) the special teams.  play calling and coaching screwed us out of the win.  we gift wrapped that one.

F#*)  the refs.  That was not an INT BY McCarron.  That was a catch.  I hope the crew gets fired, and I hope their pets shit in their shoes. Also, how was Matheu not ejected for a dirty hit?  Also, who needs to get a sexual favor so Bama can finally get a kicker?

man F#@) that honey badger bullshit F#*}ing p#$$y bullshit

Go for it Nick.  Our kicker licks the sweat off a dead man's b@*))s.

kick all our our shit lick kickers off the team.  And recruit a good one.  I don't care if we have to go to Congo to get him.  This has become inexcusable.

does Wing have a brother?  or a sister, or a large canine?