A lady in Tuscaloosa calls 911. Hysterically, she says, "Someone's just
broken into my house, and I think he's going to rob me!"
The police officer says, "We're really busy at the moment. Just get the
guys jersey number and we'll get back to you."

Q: What is Nick Saban's biggest concern?
A: Does the NCAA count bail money as a recruiting violation?

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Tuscaloosa ?
A: A huddle

Q: Four Bammer players in a car, who's driving?
A: The police

Q: Why can't most of the Bammer players get into a huddle on the field?
A: It is a parole violation to associate with known felons.

Q: How will the Tide spend the first week of Spring Training?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

The Bammer team has adopted a new Honor System. Yes, your Honor, No, your Honor.

The Tide had a 7-6 season last year. 7 Arrests, 6 convictions.